I am pretty sure that 2018+ Rams need a bypass cable to write any commands. You can read and monitor without it, but to change tire size, you'll need it.
Fuel pump(s)? Turn the truck on without starting it and listen for the lift pump. If that runs, then perhaps the HPFP is toast. I am not sure how to test that one though. Maybe someone else can chime in on that.
There are people on this forum know better than me what the best tune is, although you'll probably get answers similar to asking what the best oil or best tires are. Everyone likes what they have. I just got my EGR recall completed so will be tuning (not deleting) here in the next month or so...
Totally understandable. I've been fairly lucky so far. I can pretty much guarantee you won't get a new generation motor. I was reading that they are configured differently and would require quite a few modifications to fit.
There's a lot of these trucks out there without any issues. I, personally, wouldn't trade it. The money it will cost you in losses for a trade could be spent on a tune/delete and you'll eliminate a good portion of the problems that occur with these motors.
I think you're well beyond being able to pursue the lemon law, but if the problems are constant, I'd look at selling or trading. I've always felt like passing on a known shitty truck to another person without telling them, is pretty douche-worthy, however trading it in to a dealership is not so...
I haven't used a Pedal Monster but have heard good things. I have a Pedal Commander on my 18 and it helps for sure. It doesn't completely eliminate the lag, but makes the truck much more drivable. I will be getting a tune here in the next few weeks now that I've finally had the VB1 completed...
It seems the techs at your dealership don't know what they are doing. I would definitely consider taking it to another dealership. My 18 (knock on wood) has been pretty much flawless other than recalls so I hope you get it figured out.
I'm guessing the AEM recall is the culprit. Many folks complain of reduced mpg's since then. I believe they changed the tune to better meet EPA requirements and those changes were definitely not a boost to performance.
A cheaper stop-gap until you get a tune is a pedal commander or similar device. I have one on my 18 and it does a pretty good job of minimizing the lag. It's still there, but for a couple hundo it was a good fix. My truck goes in today for the EGR recall and after that's all finished up and...
I know you say exact, but is this one the same year/model and does this one have different sized tires or a level kit? Also did your old truck have the AEM recall done?
Do you have a way to read the actual code(s) thrown. Service Electronic Throttle is a fairly generic error that could be a number of things and by reading the code you can drill down a little better.
Congrats on an awesome truck and an awesome wife! The latest generation of EcoDiesel has a much better cooling system than last gen so don't spend money on oil coolers. Getting a tune is definitely a good thing. You might look around at a few others and I would get one that you are able to...